'Dear Work Colleagues' - An 'I'm Leaving' E-Mail
advertisment
More in FUN STORIES
back-up- Firms On Alert As Insect 'Infestation' Crashes PC Networks
- 'So Tell Me Bernie, Just What Is The Food Like In Here?'
- Has Pandit Been Eating All The Pies ?
- Presented Without Comment - Political Funny
- Banker Goes Quackers - An Amazing Story
- 'Stitched-Up' - Banker Risks Life & Limb Amid G20 Protesters
- G20 Protester Caption Competition - Your Suggestions
- Scared Bankers Hide From Angry Protesters (Exclusive Pic)
- Video Footage That Cost Japanese Finance Minister His Job
- Give Generously To The HITC 'Ponzi' Scheme
- Cap'n' Credit Crunch (A Financial Crisis Funny)
- The Bernie Made-Off Song
- Please Give Generously To 'Poor' Hedge Fund Professionals
- 'Bleed The World' - A Real Friday Funny (Unless You're A Banker)
- Probably The Most Wicked Piece Of Wall Street Humor Yet
- Why Did The Chi.ken Cross The Road ? (A US Election Funny)
- Banking The Mary Poppins Way - Some Things Never Change
- A Wall Street Funny
- Obvious, But Funny
- Caption Competition (Updated)
- That Steve McLaren 'Double Dutch' Interview
- What Do You Think Of Cityboy's Latest Exploits (At Glastonbury) ?
- Oh No - Look At The Logo!
- Madness - And You Thought Our Subway Was Bad (Video Nasty)
- Firms Save Costs With Radical New Office Redesign
- Sick Trader Says 'Don't Call Me Baby!' (Video Funny)
- Be Careful What You Buy Your Partner This Xmas (Video)
- 'Sorry - I Wrecked Your Porsche!' (The True Story)
- It Takes An Investment Banker To Make A Woman Feel...
- Pope Joke
- And The Misogynist Of The Year Is.....
- More Misogynists Of The Year
- Doppleganger Found At BarCap
- 'Dear IT Support' - The Best E-Mail Ever
- Shock As Nick Leeson Negotiates US Government Bail-Out!
- Drunk Husband Joke
- The Most Socially Irresponsible Investment Bank Is...
- Important - Lost Puppy - Can You Help ?
- The Best 'Donkey' Joke - Ever (Video Clip)
- Candidate Secretly Films Job Interview (Video)
- Yoga - The Indian & British Versions
- What A Banker! (Video)
- Who Says Recruitment Consultants Can't Dance ? (Video)
- Punch Up On The Trading Floor.....(Video)
- Personal Hygiene Problems Can Cause Real Office Stink
- Jokes - Wives v Husbands
- Biggest Rumour Ever - Video Banker & Lucy Gao To Wed!
- 'Impossible Is Nothing' - The Video
- Warning - Politically Incorrect Joke
This little gem was sent in by one of our readers. It's said to be a true e-mail sent to staff at a well-known managment consulting firm - although it's probably too good to be true.
'Dear Co-Workers,
As many of you probably know, tomorrow is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Tomorrow is my last day."
For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
Over the year and a half, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory." That is the type of praise that sends a woman home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling her way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:
To X : I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.
To Y : I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.
And finally, to Z : you were right - I tested positive. We'll talk later.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning : if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.
Very truly yours',
Please use the 'E-Mail' button immediately under the article title to send this item to a friend.











