Here's a real gem to start off the New Year. The story was fed to us by a mole present when the events detailed below occurred. He has asked to remain anonymous, and for us to withhold the name of his firm, as he fears for his job.

It was all set to be another successful day at the office for one senior investment banker, who, just before Christmas, flew back from holiday for an important client meeting to put the final touches to bag yet another big M&A advisory fee for his firm. Although his wife was not best-pleased to be left alone in the sun (again), it would be worth it - as the banker would get off to a flying start in 2007, when the deal was to be announced.

All was going well as the parties met in one of the firm's plush City boardrooms. And why wouldn't it - the banker knew the client well, and his firm had successfully done deals with the company before. This was the first time, however, the banker was to meet the clients' new Finance Director.

Immaculately dressed in his expensive designer suit, the banker greeted his guests and sat down at the head of the large boardroom table. Cigars were at the ready. But that's when the sh.t (almost literally) hit the fan. A lowly-paid cleaner, it seems, had decided to seek revenge on the firm and its well-paid bankers for paying peanuts to those who mopped the floors and sanitized the toilets. No hunger strike or sit-in, though, for this cleaner. No, the unidentified culprit is alleged to have simply planted a large dog turd under the boardroom table. And the banker trod in it. The stench quickly overpowered all those in the room, and the banker lost it.

According to our mole, the now red-faced banker shouted obscenities at his secretary, demanding that she immediately clean up the squidgy substance spread over the floor, and go out and buy him another pair of Gucci shoes. He then went on a rant about how ungrateful the 'f..king' cleaners were, stating that they were lucky that they lived in a country where 'idiots' who perpetrated such 'sh.tty' acts weren't taken away and shot!  

The client, especially the new Finance Director, was not, it seems, too impressed at his outburst. The meeting quickly concluded, and the clients left. The advisory mandate was subsequently awarded to a rival firm.

Despite an extensive search for a dog-owning rebel cleaner, the firm has been unable to unearth the culprit. All suspects apparently came out clean, although several cleaners are now said to be walking around with permanent smirks on their faces.

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