The following e-mail exchange took place between a client and recruiter last year. We thought we'd republish it to lighten the mood during these difficult times.

From HR:

'Stephen (not his real name), we did not take this further because he (your candidate) was after too high a salary for his experience....

You were (also) incredibly rude to me on the phone on Friday (when trying to 'pitch' the candidate). I have asked that (we) not deal with you in future.....You need to start reviewing the way you deal with clients and learn some basic manners'.

From 'Stephen':

'Thank you for the correspondence regarding this matter.

How dare you not give me or any consultant the time to speak with you. It's not my fault you were still organising an open evening event at the 11th hour on a Friday afternoon......If you had not 'approved' of the candidate, then why were you (initially) trying to arrange an interview with him ? 

We all have things we need to learn in business and life...I take on board any suggestion you have given to me. Thank you. What do you think you need to learn ? I suggest basic efficiency and due care and attention to the finer details of your job.

I am very concerned that you seem to have the authority to destroy the working relationship (between your company and my firm)'. 

From HR:

'(Look), Stephen. I don't deal with rude or pushy recruitment consultants. I deal with a fair few who are professional and polite and I likewise show them the same courtesy......

You've previously tried to hawk us someone for a ridiculously inflated package, lied about it and then had to take it back.....I can assure you that in no way did I compromise your potential business links (with our company) - you've done a very good job of doing that yourself.

You are the weakest (or should I say the 'missing') link. Goodbye'.

From Stephen:

'Look, people clash. It's not the end of the world. Although it may be the end of our 'potential' business relationship, its a big world out there. If your head was no so big, maybe you would be able to fit through certain doors and see that for yourself.

It's funny, I always sensed that little girlish attitude in you, and your sign-off is both comical and cute, just like you, I'm sure.

Take care girl and don't take it to heart, OK (if you've even got one! :)'.

From HR:

'I'm so pleased that made you laugh. In fact my colleagues and a number of Directors have been following your childish outbursts with much amusement. This is the most fun I've had in ages!

.......I must say I'd be very surprised if you do manage to get much commission from other companies as you seem to rely on what you think is 'charm' to try to hawk overinflated, overrated candidates to them........

Good luck out there, Stephen, you'll need it in buckets.

PS - I'd be very careful how you word your e-mails in future - they could be misconstrued as offensive (or) sexual harassment.....Just as well I have a sense of humour!'

From Stephen:

'Wow, I'm glad I've put such a smile on your face. What can I say ? If this is the most fun you've had in ages, you really should get out more. Anyway, I would love to stay and play, but I've got jobs to fill!

Keep smiling for me, OK sweetheart!'.

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