Talk of the Town over in New York is the profile of 'Andrew' (pictured), a 24-year-old investment banker, who was profiled by The New York Post for a recent 'Tools of the Trade' feature.

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Posing for what looks like a 'before' photo to publicize US Fitness Reality TV show 'The Biggest Loser', Andrew claims to make $190,000 a year, helping 'companies raise capital and grow their business'.

We're not sure that this guy is for real as, despite the US media's best-efforts, no-one has been able to identify which firm he is supposed to work for. But the New York Post item is pretty funny.

According to the article, Andrew has 'about 10 suits......I have two really heavy pin-stripe suits that I'd classify as 'power suits'. 'Bankers', he says, 'never wear double-breasted suits - it's a fashion faux pas'. Andrew's suits are tailored by a Romanian couple that have worked for his family for years.

Andrew favours white shirts - 'there's a saying in the banking world that you can never have too many blue suits or white shirts'. He also has a passion for 'cutaway collars and French cuffs'.

Our hero apparently sports at $5,299 watch - as bankers 'have a complex with having a watch'. And his ties costs $125 a-piece - 'the two tie brands that embody the investment banker are Hermes and Salvatore Ferragamo'. As for shoe-wear, 'the standard banker shoe is a fashion loafer or a tie cap toe'.

Not complete without his BlackBerry 8700c (gray with black trim), Andrew apparently walks around the office with a 'red pen behind my ear at all times' as 'it stands out' (it looks green to us).

Andrew swigs a Red Bull before he gets in the shower each morning and has another on the way to work. The only alcohol he drinks is Blanton's whiskey, Woodford Reserve (a small-batch bourbon). His favourite cigar is a CAO Brazilia, which he purchases by the box.

Mocked by all who have seen the profile, 'Andrew' looks like joining the likes of Alex Vayner and Lucy Goa in the 'Investment Banking 'Did I Really Do That' Hall of Fame.

And there are some great posts on the subject on gawker.com. Here's a selection:

'What a pr.ck. This guy should be tied to a piano and thrown in the Hudson'.

'Douchetendous'

'Only 10 suits ? Pitiful'.

'He's a wannabe. Probably working in some boiler room doing a pump and dump scheme'.

'How about a dating site for guys like this ? Douchematch.com ?'.

'What's truly frightening is that for every me who finds his profile beyond revolting, there are 6 or 7 douchettes who will have found their 'classy' ideal'.

'This guy works at the Jamba Juice on University. Swear to God. Saw him there last week'.

'And that looks like a green pen behind his lobes. Please, someone plunge it into his ear - repeatedly!'.

'Where's Patrick Bateman when you need him ?'.

'If you listen to that watch real closely, it's going ''dick, dick, dick, dick''.

Sources - The New York Post, Wall Street Folly, Gawker.com

Photo - www.zandymangold.com

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