Here's an oldie, but goodie:

A lady died in January 2006, and Citibank billed her credit card service charges in February and March. As the customer was in no position to pay up, Citibank added late fees and interest.

A family member then placed a call to the bank. Here's the telephone exchange:


Family Member - "I am calling to tell you she died in January.


Citibank - "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."


Family Member - "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."


Citibank - "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."


Family Member - "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"


Citibank - "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"


Family Member - "Do you think God will be mad at her?" !!)


Citibank - "Excuse me?"


Family Member - "Did you just get what I was telling you? The part about her being dead?"


Citibank -"Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."


The supervisor then gets on the phone.


Family Member - "I'm calling to tell you she died in January."


Citibank - "The account was never closed. And late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)


Family Member - "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"


Citibank - (Stammering) "Are you her lawyer?"


Family Member - "No, I'm her great nephew."? (Lawyer information given)


Citibank - "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"


Family Member - "Sure." (Fax number is given)


After they get the fax:


Citibank - "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."


Family Member - "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."


Citibank - "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."


Family Member - "Would you like her new billing address?"


Citibank - "That might help."


Family Member - "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."


Citibank - "Sir, that's a cemetery!"


Family Member - "What do you do with dead people on your planet?

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