'We Didn't Survive' - An Investment Banking Song
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At first I was amazed,
But I was dignified
When Merrill offered me the job
I almost died
But I've spent the last few nights wondering just what went wrong
Our firm was strong
But I wasn't the boss for very long
There was just no way back
From Stan's bad place
I didn't have the time to write down all our toxic waste
I should have dumped it all at once
That really was the key
Then all those short sellers
Wouldn't have made such a fool of me
I thought we'd press on
I was pretty sure
Please believe me
I didn't see BofA coming through our door
But our firm stock, it soon went short
And the future, it looked real black
Like Lehman we'd get caught
And there would be just no way back
The name's John Thain (But I'm not to blame)
I thought we'd survive
Oh, now I'll soon be off
I'll be on my way
But I've got that real big bonus
Then there's my stock option pay
So I'll survive
I will survive, hey, hey
It took all the self-belief I had
To stay this strong
I even called up Goldman Sachs
To see if they would come along
And I spent all last weekend
Trying to do a deal
But I just can't lie
The fact that it's BofA makes me cry
Now this firm don't need me
You'll have someone new
Ken Lewis rules
That much is very true
Our staff will really feel the pinch
You'll soon be feeling blue
There'll be no more Merrill Lynch
No more jobs left for me and you
I thought we'd press on
I was pretty sure
Please believe me
I didn't see BofA coming through our door
But our firm stock, it soon went short
And the future, it looked real black
Like Lehman we'd get caught
And there would be just no way back
The name's John Thain (But I'm not to blame)
I thought we'd survive
But I thought we'd press on
I was pretty sure
Please believe me
I didn't see BofA coming through our door
But our firm stock, it soon went short
And the future, it looked real black
Like Lehman we'd get caught
And there would be just no way back
The name's John Thain (I'm off to work for John McCain)
Sorry we didn't survive
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