What The Credit Crunch Really Means (A Little Humour)
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You can't avoid it. The term is everywhere. On the television, in our papers, on the lips of the man down the pub - who struggles to pay for a pint even in good times - but what does the phrase 'Credit Crunch' really mean ? Come to think of it, what do all those other financial terms mean as well ?
Being a writer and an ex-banker, I thought I'd combine the two 'skills' and pen my own simplified glossary of the financial words and phrases that are currently being bandied about.
Bear - mythical creature representing caution and restraint in the markets
Blue chip company - frozen food manufacturer
Bull market - place where everyone talks b.llocks
City fat cats - it's all that urban living and fast food stocks. Try exercising caution and cutting out junk bonds.
Credit crunch - chocolate biscuit bought on spec
Credit risk - the likelihood of all your friends buying their round in the pub
Dow Jones - the market that lives next door and everyone else tries to keep up with
Economic capital - 'E'
Finance Minister - the person leading our prayers for a financial miracle
Footsie - traders kicking worthless stocks and shares under the desk
Gold standard - a flag worth waving, if you can carry it
Good investment - David Beckham modeling his underwear
Government bail out - the state's answer to the recent floods
Liquidity freeze - putting your pension on ice
Market Risk - where the price of stocks and shares can go down as well as under
Operational risk - the likelihood your broker will survive when his clients threaten to cut out his liver
Shares - one for us and one million for the bankers - but hey, who said it was an equitable life ?
Speculation - uncertainty over the outcome of your optician's appointment
Stock exchange - you might as well, as they're not worth keeping
Wall Street - a place full of Wallies
Source - www.stevenbarley.com
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