You can't avoid it. The term is everywhere. On the television, in our papers, on the lips of the man down the pub - who struggles to pay for a pint even in good times - but what does the phrase 'Credit Crunch' really mean ? Come to think of it, what do all those other financial terms mean as well ?

Being a writer and an ex-banker, I thought I'd combine the two 'skills' and pen my own simplified glossary of the financial words and phrases that are currently being bandied about.

Bear - mythical creature representing caution and restraint in the markets

Blue chip company - frozen food manufacturer

Bull market - place where everyone talks b.llocks

City fat cats - it's all that urban living and fast food stocks. Try exercising caution and cutting out junk bonds.

Credit crunch - chocolate biscuit bought on spec

Credit risk - the likelihood of all your friends buying their round in the pub

Dow Jones - the market that lives next door and everyone else tries to keep up with

Economic capital - 'E'

Finance Minister - the person leading our prayers for a financial miracle

Footsie - traders kicking worthless stocks and shares under the desk

Gold standard - a flag worth waving, if you can carry it

Good investment - David Beckham modeling his underwear

Government bail out - the state's answer to the recent floods

Liquidity freeze - putting your pension on ice

Market Risk - where the price of stocks and shares can go down as well as under

Operational risk - the likelihood your broker will survive when his clients threaten to cut out his liver

Shares - one for us and one million for the bankers - but hey, who said it was an equitable life ?

Speculation - uncertainty over the outcome of your optician's appointment

Stock exchange - you might as well, as they're not worth keeping

Wall Street - a place full of Wallies

Source - www.stevenbarley.com

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