Such is the backlash against bailed-out firms paying staff bonuses, that one institution has warned employees against doing anything that could turn in a profit.

Here's the incredible memo:

'Bank Profits

As you will have seen in the media, there is a growing disquiet among lawmakers and taxpayers that bailed-out firms like ours are using some of their profits to pay staff year-end bonuses. There are also concerns that bankers who may benefit from such payments may have the audacity to go out and spend some of it.

During these difficult economic times we should be sensitive to such criticism, and have decided that it would be appropriate to ensure that we do not make any additional profit this year; in fact, we need to sustain losses to offset our strong performance in the first two quarters. With this mind, staff should please be aware of the following:

1. Front office staff are not to engage in any activity that is likely to make money. We are temporarily withdrawing from M&A advisory work, and will not be accepting any further underwriting mandates until 2010. Traders should please ensure that they close out any profitable positions immediately.

2. Training will be available to those staff who find it difficult not to generate profits. Human Resources will be running a series of training sessions, and we are pleased to confirm that several of the mortgage-backed securities traders who lost us all that money in 2007 and 2008 have agreed to return to advise us in this area.

3. Risk Management and Compliance will also be running a series of workshops on 'How To Make A Losing Trade'.

4. We are also pleased to announce the imminent return of our previously-disgraced CEO, who, as you know, has a strong track record losing money.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your cooperation, and remind you to be careful out there. Remember, the only people lawmakers and taxpayers hate more than bailed-out bankers are successful ones. Making money is wrong. Being successful is frowned upon. 'To be poor is profitable' is the new mantra'.

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