'It's Just No Fun Anymore!'
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There are so many rules and regulations now, so many 'dos' and 'don'ts'. I just can't get my head around it all.
I've been in the markets for a few years now, and last night I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I used to enjoy, but am now not allowed to do - you know, all the stuff that made it really worthwhile coming to work.
Here's my list:
1. You can't slip to the loo off the trading floor and do a line of coke.
2. You can't sell crap products to clients
3. You can't take long lunch hours, and come back to the office a little tipsy (or, more likely, blind drunk).
4. You can't come in wearing casual dress, and enjoy a smoke in the office.
5. You can't have a laugh with your colleagues at someone else's expense.
6. You can't send around 'inappropriate' joke e-mails.
7. You can't take the mickey out of minorities.
8. You can't hire your mates. And if you recruit a secretary, she actually has to have good computer skills!
9. You can't tell Compliance to 'f.ck off' when they pick you up for trading over your limits.
10. You can't take clients to adult entertainment clubs, put hookers on expenses or indulge in a little dwarf-tossing.
11. You can't bag a decent bonus and quickly move on, leaving a ticking time bomb behind.
12. Hell, you can't even engage in insider trading without getting caught!
What are things coming to ? Things ain't what they used to be'.
And who says that the City and Wall Street haven't come a long way in a relatively short space of time!
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