What The Credit Crunch Really Means (A Little Humour)

You can't avoid it. The term is everywhere. On the television, in our papers, on the lips of the man down the pub - who struggles to pay for a pint even in good times - but what does the phrase 'Credit Crunch' really mean ? Come to think of it, what do all those other financial terms mean as well ?

Being a writer and an ex-banker, I thought I'd combine the two 'skills' and pen my own simplified glossary of the financial words and phrases that are currently being bandied about.

Bear - mythical creature representing caution and restraint in the markets

Blue chip company - frozen food manufacturer

Bull market - place where everyone talks b.llocks

City fat cats - it's all that urban living and fast food stocks. Try exercising caution and cutting out junk bonds.

Credit crunch - chocolate biscuit bought on spec

Credit risk - the likelihood of all your friends buying their round in the pub

Dow Jones - the market that lives next door and everyone else tries to keep up with

Economic capital - 'E'

Finance Minister - the person leading our prayers for a financial miracle

Footsie - traders kicking worthless stocks and shares under the desk

Gold standard - a flag worth waving, if you can carry it

Good investment - David Beckham modeling his underwear

Government bail out - the state's answer to the recent floods

Liquidity freeze - putting your pension on ice

Market Risk - where the price of stocks and shares can go down as well as under

Operational risk - the likelihood your broker will survive when his clients threaten to cut out his liver

Shares - one for us and one million for the bankers - but hey, who said it was an equitable life ?

Speculation - uncertainty over the outcome of your optician's appointment

Stock exchange - you might as well, as they're not worth keeping

Wall Street - a place full of Wallies

Source - www.stevenbarley.com

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