Firm Staff Told No Holidays As 'We Are Not Making Money'

Here it is:

'We are an investment bank. Unless you are an orthodox something, please get into the office. We are getting paid minimum wage for a reason - we are not making money, which is hard to do from home.

Join Wells Fargo and become a teller if you want to take holidays'. (Otherwise, have a Happy Easter!).

In the meantime, The Guardian reports that at least 20 staff have quit AIG Financial Products (at least 7 who worked in London), after getting fed up over the stick they got for their retention bonuses. The departures are said to have resulted in the slow-down of the winding down of the firm's derivatives portfolio, and US taxpayers are likely to pick up a bigger tab as a result. No doubt US lawmakers are pleased with themselves for stirring up all that bonus furore.

And FT Alphaville reports that US regulator The Securities and Exchange Commission is to 'review' whether Bank of America may have broke securities laws by not informing its shareholders, ahead of a vote to sanction the Merrill Lynch deal, about its plan to pay out $3.6bn in bonuses to Merrill's staff last December.

Finally, The New York Times reports that Mario Gabelli, the Chairman & CEO of Gamco Investors, bagged a $46m comp package last year, even though the value of the firm's various funds 'sank with the turbulent market'.

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