300 Bankers Quarantined In Mexico

The bankers have been detained on the orders of the US government, after it was discovered that they were paid a bonus last year. Representative Barney Frank, Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, said: 'People like this are a menace to society, but we have moved quickly to neutralize this threat'.

A White House spokesperson said: 'CIA caught up with the bankers in Mexico, where they will remain in custody until they can be safely transferred to Guantanamo Bay. Not only did these bankers have the audacity to take a bonus last year, but they were actually in Acapulco on a company jolly!'.

A spokesperson for the company, which was a major recipient of TARP funding, said: 'We apologize to taxpayers for this oversight. We thought we had eradicated all bonuses, but we think we have now contained the problem. Fears that this could result in a bonus pandemic are totally unfounded'.