'Suicidal' Money Manager Turned Into 'Captain C.ck-Up'

38-year-old Indiana money manager Marcus Schrenker pleaded guilty Friday to deliberately crashing his single-engine Piper Malibu plane on January 11th this year, and making a false distress call. It was all part of an elaborate plan to fake his own death in order to escape the wrath of clients, angry at losing out on annuity investments made through the money manager, and a bad marriage that looked like ending in divorce.

Schrenker radioed air-controllers that his windscreen had shattered, and that he had been badly cut by the glass. After engaging the autopilot and pointing the plane towards the Gulf of Mexico, Schrenker parachuted out to safety, and headed off to Florida on a motorcycle he had stashed away for that purpose. But two F-15 jets managed to catch up with the plane before it downed, and noticed that no-one was aboard.

In additional to facing charges related to his alleged financial shenanigans, the money manager is also staring at up to 26 years in prison and a $500,000 fine for his aeronautical exploits. He will also have to reimburse Federal authorities at least $38,000 for the cost of the fly-by farce.

Schrenker was found the next day at a Florida campsite, having left a book of campsites in the cockpit with pages detailing sites in Alabama and Florida ripped out! Captain Cock-Up or what ?

In other news, The Independent-On-Sunday reports that $60bn fraudster Bernie Madoff apparently ordered his London office to sell its $165m UK gilt portfolio just one month before he confessed to his crimes. The money was wired to Madoff's New York office and then seemingly disappeared. Strange that.

Finally, The Sunday Telegraph reports that lawyers are still looking into ways in which Royal Bank of Scotland can avoid paying former CEO Sir Fred Goodwin his $1.1m-a-year pension. One plan under consideration is said to be simply not paying it at all, and daring Goodwin to sue. Nice plan, that. And well worth the lawyer fees!